Two Australian mums with the sweetest little boy, please meet Shauna, Candice and Oscar!
Candice and Shauna
Oscar (12 months)
We’re you’re from
Where can we find you?
How did you meet?
We met 10 years ago in a beer garden and instantly clicked. We became friends first, then after a period of intense and extremely fun flirting, we made our relationship official. Fast forward 8 happy years and here we are!
When did you/will you get married? We got hitched in August, 2013. We flew ourselves over to Queenstown the day after New Zealand made the excellent decision to legalize same sex marriage. We married a couple of days later on top of The Remarkables mountain range, in front of a small group of our family and friends that had also flown over.
What made you want a family?
While I always knew I wanted kids, Candice never actually expected that being a mum was in her future, until we met. This was simply because she didn’t feel comfortable about being pregnant. Lucky for her, I was more than happy to be the pregnant one and carry our baby.
How did you make your family?
Oscar was conceived via IVF through Queensland Fertility Group. We chose an unknown donor through the QFG Donor Program and after 1 round of IVF we had 4 healthy embryos ready for transfer. We transferred 1 embryo and two weeks later on Valentines Day we received the phone call to say that the pregnancy blood test was positive!
Did you face any challenges making your family?
The only challenge we faced were some unexpected fertility problems. Due to a low ovarian reserve, we didn’t want to waste anymore time on Intrauterine Insemination’s (after 2 failed attempts) when the IVF success rate was significantly higher.
What were the greatest moments making your family?
Oh wow, so many great moments! Sharing the news with our friends and family and seeing how genuinely happy they were was a big highlight for us. The entire pregnancy felt surreal and we have fond memories of laying in bed at night, chatting about our baby-to-be and feeling Oscar kick and roll about. Seeing the positive home pregnancy test was so exciting and we confess that we still haven’t been able to bring ourselves to throw it out!
Do you plan to have more kids?
Yes, we do plan on having another child. At this point we would like to have 2 kids in total, so 1 more, though that number isn’t set in stone. Our car could fit 3 kids… ;-P
What do you love about being a parent?
Everything! Being a parent is amazing. It may sound like a cliche’ but I don’t think anything can make you feel as loved and significant as your child does. Oscar is a serious motivator for us! He makes us want to strive to better ourselves and the environment we live in. Then there are all the smiles, giggles and cuddles that we are rewarded with; major bonus!
What do you think is the biggest challenge for same-sex parents?
We haven’t experienced any real challenges yet but we expect there may be obstacles in the future. The biggest challenge facing us will be those within society that are unaccepting of our family. Currently, Oscar is shielded from that negativity as everyone involved in our lives are both supportive and open minded.
How do you manage work and home life?
At the moment we both work full time and Oscar goes to a wonderful daycare.
What are your plans for the future?
In a few years, we plan to be back at QFG to add to our family.
What advice do you have for people planning to make a family?
You need to have very open line of communication with each other. Have a clear idea of how much you are willing to spend, what methods of conception you both feel comfortable with and how often/long you will attempt to conceive. An important part of planning a family is deciding on what kind of donor you wish to use; a known donor or an unknown donor. It’s crucial that you be on the same page with this decision and if either partner doesn’t feel 100% comfortable with it, then take a step back and wait until you are. The whole process of starting a family feels so daunting in the beginning but we can promise you this – it’s so worth it!